Is your life characterized by crisis, conflict or a recurring problem and you don’t know why?
You might just be bored.
What? That’s right, when people are bored with their life, they have a tendency to create and/or attract drama.
“But I don’t like drama,” you are probably saying to yourself. Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Soap operas and reality shows get high ratings because people watch them. Simple math indicates that someone (actually, lots of someones) likes drama and crisis, or these shows would not be successful.
Listen, if you are not compelled by an exciting game that brings you into high performance, inspires those around you, and activates at least 80% of your intelligence and attention, your life is probably not juicy enough. Therefore, the latest crisis or problem (ie.a family illness, a financial catastrophe or conflict with a work colleague) will keep grabbing your attention whether you like it or not. You might not like drama, but it likes you.
You’ve heard the adage ‘whatever you put your attention on expands’. If you put your attention on problems, soon you will be consumed by problems. If you put your attention on an exciting game or project that moves you closer to the life you want to live, you are more likely to be consumed by excitement, movement and fulfilling adventures.
Here’s an example. One client came for coaching because she was going through a career transition and was not sure what direction to go in. She wanted to start her own business in an industry that she is passionate about.
Every time she was about to take action in her business projects, some crisis would derail her. First, a family member demanded her assistance in dealing with a financial disaster, then she needed an emergency health procedure, then her house started falling apart. It seemed to be one thing after the other and she was only able to take little steps in her business for the first six months.
One day, she realized one thing holding her back was that her home environment did not inspire her. She had known this for a long time but did not want to go to the trouble of moving again or trying to sell her house. In truth having low energy and constantly dealing with the problems kept her out of high performance. Being in low performance kept her from taking action that would change her situation. It was a vicious circle.
However, as soon as she committed to the game of finding someplace else to live whether it was short or long term and do it in a way that was easy and fun, her life turned around. Immediately she enrolled her real estate agent Emily at Urbanspace Realtors in a game to show and sell her house during the three week interim that she would be travelling in Europe. That way she would not have to deal with the hassles of preparing and showing her house.
Then, she recruited a new agent to help her find an ideal new location, one fitting all her parameters. After talking with him at great length, he said he had the perfect house for her. When he showed it to her, she knew it was home. It was a house that would not only keep her inspired, so that her attention was free to put on her business, but it was also a house that could be used directly for her business projects (shooting a cooking show, holding classes and events, etc.). The new agent, the home-builder, and even her former boss and business partner are stepping up to make sure she gets the house she wants, and finds a buyer for her old house. And just in time to have her holiday party in her new digs.
Adopting the game changed her whole disposition and outlook. When we measured her eyes, they were at the highest level of aliveness that I had seen in her during the whole time I had known her. She was inspired and ready to take action.
What’s a game? Simple. A certain result by a certain time. Coaching comes from sports and is simply applying the formula that makes sports competitions exciting (clear goals, limited timeframe, team, clear rules and roles) to your business, relationship and lifestyle projects. With a game, you can go into high performance. When you are at your highest level of vitality, or, in the midst of playing the game of your life with high intensity, you can reach unexpected results, with what seems like relatively little effort.
What game are you playing? What’s the score?